Can I just tell you about my day? Haha if you don't care then just don't read this haha!
Anyways ahh okay it was just such a good day! I went to work early in the morning and at the end of my shift, this sweet boy that I really like surprised me and I just about died haha it was so sweet! (: and he just set the tone for the day. Then I went to volunteer for my missions trip, and that was just such a happy thing! I didn't realize how much it blesses me when I bless other people, and it was just so fun to share God's love and experience the joyful Christmas spirit! It was such a happy time. Then to top it all off.. I had such a good talk at starbucks with some of my absolute favorites, Lexi and Monica. Woah. I love the little talk we had. I love being real like that and just pouring our hearts out about how much people are really hurting and lost in this world. I love there hearts and how they want and plan to make a difference in this world. It's cool to know world changers! Mmm I am one blessed lady.

And I just really hope that all of you feel loved. Because you are. All you hurting people are my passion. I want to help. I pray for you and care for you. Know that!

Just Thinking

Do you ever get frustrated with God? That sounds so bad, but really sometimes it's so frustrating to talk to someone who you feel like is not listening because we usually don't hear a voice back. I think we all have felt this way at some point in our life. I just feel like my life is on pause right now. I've been waiting for direction on a lot of things, but so far I feel like He isn't hearing me or isn't doing anything about what I'm asking. It's so frustrating, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I want answers! I feel so lost, but then again I know He's got it under control. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing, yah know? It's really hard to be patient.

I haven't blogged in a while because I feel like my words are lame. Like everything I say is just pointless. I want to make a difference in people's life, and I just have been feeling very small. I feel like everything I say is just stupid hah. I get really frustrated sometimes, I want to be there for people, I want to be that person everyone goes to. I feel useless, "I'm praying for you" and "I'm here for you" just seem so useless. I wish I could take the pain from everyone and hurt for them. It really really bugs me to see people hurting. Like ahhh I don't know if I'm getting this out right. But I just want to mean more to people. I want to feel important. And I don't at all. I feel like an average kid, and I don't want to be in that place. Why do friends always leave? I must be doing something wrong. I'm just frustrated with myself.

Last thing, I have been feeling very thankful. Thankful for everything that I do have. I was recently reminded of how precious life is and that we could loose anyone in a second. It's a scary thought. So really over use "I love you" and take a minute to just think about people and all the wonderful ones in your life. And maybe even tell them? Yeah i would do that.

Sorry my thoughts are so confusing. It's so hard to get them into words sometimes.

Be secure in this.

Lexi and Sidney.

 

 

 Let me introduce to you to my world. These are my girls. Tonight I am just feeling overly grateful for these two lives. I am proud to call them my best friends and sisters. It's a cool feeling knowing that someone is always there for you. It's cool knowing that we'll always be together, there is no way we can grow apart and not see each other like friends often do. I get to spend the rest of my life with these rascals and that is just such a great feeling. Really I'm so happy God decided to make them my sisters. Guys I'm crying haha like I love them so much I don't think you understand. HAPPY tears. These girls are the real deal. They are SUCH great role models. They are such great friends to other people, they love the Lord with all there heart. There love for God makes me want to love Him more. They inspire me daily. I am so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you guys. We really truly have been through it all together. My love for you both goes deep and will never run out.

Thank you God for these precious lives.

 

 

Crazy Love.

I've just started reading the book "Crazy Love" for the second time, because the first time just wasn't enough. READ IT. PLEASE.

So I feel like I talk about God's love a lot.. well how can I not? The more I read about it the more I am just speechless. Sometimes I feel like my words just mess everything up, ya know?

I'm going to take a stab at talking about the reality of God. Well there really is no reality. In this book, it says that our words cannot contain Him. Think about that. Our words aren't even close to being good enough for Him. There is NO WAY we can ever fathom who God is. He is so holy. Holy means "nothing and no one compare to Him." Do you ever feel like it's hard to love God? That sounds so bad, but really lets be honest. Why is it so hard for us to love and remember a God so wonderful? Shouldn't it be easy to love God? "When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is."

It is ridiculous to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.

God doesn't have to know us so well, but He does. Isn't it so comforting to worship a God who loves and cares for us so much? He is the real deal. He cares about us so much, and yet we don't have the consideration to worship Him on a regular basis. Our whole life should be based around Him. I guess I'm just a little frustrated with myself on how I kind of take God so lightly. There are no words to describe Him. Do you understand that? No words are good enough. It just blows my mind.

Sometimes I don't even know where to start with God. I kind of get overwhelmed with the idea of Him. But sometimes you just gotta sit there and admire you creator and usually that's enough. Just sit there and admire Him. Don't rush into His presence with with words. When you do that Sometimes I feel like I have to do all the talking when it comes to God. But really just sitting there in His presence is more that any words could ever start to say.

Just love Him guys.

Stop blowing Him off. Stop thinking your sin is too big. Stop thinking you're not good enough to talk to Him.

He created you, He already knows what's happening, Now just talk to Him about it. Stop holding back from him, you can't do it on your own, so don't. Just because it's hard and uncomfortable doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. God cares more than anyone in the world ever could.

He loves you.

Live Loved

So lately I've been waiting... Waiting on God. I haven't really been asking for anything. I wanted to just thank Him instead of asking Him. Doing that simple, but not so simple thing has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Honestly I just haven't been feeling loved lately, I don't know why, I have just been feeling unloved unwanted, forgotten all those depressing things. So I went to God and He showed me something... HIS LOVE. And boy am I stupid, I AM LOVED.

 

Ever since a friend spoke in chapel this morning I have just been thinking about God's love constantly. Ah man God's LOVE. He made a good point, God's love has kind of been misunderstood and redefined in the wrong way we have lost the realness of it, we use the term "God loves you" so carelessly. You guys it is SO special and SO sacred. There is nothing like it. Why is it so easy for us to forget about God? It seems like so many people are stuck in depression, loneliness, sadness, regret, hurt, all of those things and really the ONLY thing we need is God. Why do we always forget Him? It's SO simple. Call on His name and He WILL answer. Try it, it will work, it's the ONLY thing that will work. The thing that gets me the most about His love is that we don't have to do anything, He loves us just because. Forget that He died for all humanity. Even if it was just one person.. just YOU. He still would have GLADLY done it. He loves us so much you guys, if only we could get our heads rapped around that.

God's love changes things.

Repent means change direction, not just feel bad about sin.

 

While you were still sinners I died for you.

 

If you're not loving Him well you don't need to try harder you need to believe that he loves you more.

 

And how do you do that? You keep gazing on Jesus because Jesus said you're so bad I had to die for you.

 

It robs you of your right to be proud, but it also says that I'm so loved that Jesus was GLAD to die for me.

 

That lifts us up and robs us of our right to be depressed.

 

We loved because He first loved us.