Can I just tell you about my day? Haha if you don't care then just don't read this haha!
Anyways ahh okay it was just such a good day! I went to work early in the morning and at the end of my shift, this sweet boy that I really like surprised me and I just about died haha it was so sweet! (: and he just set the tone for the day. Then I went to volunteer for my missions trip, and that was just such a happy thing! I didn't realize how much it blesses me when I bless other people, and it was just so fun to share God's love and experience the joyful Christmas spirit! It was such a happy time. Then to top it all off.. I had such a good talk at starbucks with some of my absolute favorites, Lexi and Monica. Woah. I love the little talk we had. I love being real like that and just pouring our hearts out about how much people are really hurting and lost in this world. I love there hearts and how they want and plan to make a difference in this world. It's cool to know world changers! Mmm I am one blessed lady.

And I just really hope that all of you feel loved. Because you are. All you hurting people are my passion. I want to help. I pray for you and care for you. Know that!

Just Thinking

Do you ever get frustrated with God? That sounds so bad, but really sometimes it's so frustrating to talk to someone who you feel like is not listening because we usually don't hear a voice back. I think we all have felt this way at some point in our life. I just feel like my life is on pause right now. I've been waiting for direction on a lot of things, but so far I feel like He isn't hearing me or isn't doing anything about what I'm asking. It's so frustrating, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I want answers! I feel so lost, but then again I know He's got it under control. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing, yah know? It's really hard to be patient.

I haven't blogged in a while because I feel like my words are lame. Like everything I say is just pointless. I want to make a difference in people's life, and I just have been feeling very small. I feel like everything I say is just stupid hah. I get really frustrated sometimes, I want to be there for people, I want to be that person everyone goes to. I feel useless, "I'm praying for you" and "I'm here for you" just seem so useless. I wish I could take the pain from everyone and hurt for them. It really really bugs me to see people hurting. Like ahhh I don't know if I'm getting this out right. But I just want to mean more to people. I want to feel important. And I don't at all. I feel like an average kid, and I don't want to be in that place. Why do friends always leave? I must be doing something wrong. I'm just frustrated with myself.

Last thing, I have been feeling very thankful. Thankful for everything that I do have. I was recently reminded of how precious life is and that we could loose anyone in a second. It's a scary thought. So really over use "I love you" and take a minute to just think about people and all the wonderful ones in your life. And maybe even tell them? Yeah i would do that.

Sorry my thoughts are so confusing. It's so hard to get them into words sometimes.

Be secure in this.

Lexi and Sidney.

 

 

 Let me introduce to you to my world. These are my girls. Tonight I am just feeling overly grateful for these two lives. I am proud to call them my best friends and sisters. It's a cool feeling knowing that someone is always there for you. It's cool knowing that we'll always be together, there is no way we can grow apart and not see each other like friends often do. I get to spend the rest of my life with these rascals and that is just such a great feeling. Really I'm so happy God decided to make them my sisters. Guys I'm crying haha like I love them so much I don't think you understand. HAPPY tears. These girls are the real deal. They are SUCH great role models. They are such great friends to other people, they love the Lord with all there heart. There love for God makes me want to love Him more. They inspire me daily. I am so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you guys. We really truly have been through it all together. My love for you both goes deep and will never run out.

Thank you God for these precious lives.

 

 

Crazy Love.

I've just started reading the book "Crazy Love" for the second time, because the first time just wasn't enough. READ IT. PLEASE.

So I feel like I talk about God's love a lot.. well how can I not? The more I read about it the more I am just speechless. Sometimes I feel like my words just mess everything up, ya know?

I'm going to take a stab at talking about the reality of God. Well there really is no reality. In this book, it says that our words cannot contain Him. Think about that. Our words aren't even close to being good enough for Him. There is NO WAY we can ever fathom who God is. He is so holy. Holy means "nothing and no one compare to Him." Do you ever feel like it's hard to love God? That sounds so bad, but really lets be honest. Why is it so hard for us to love and remember a God so wonderful? Shouldn't it be easy to love God? "When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is."

It is ridiculous to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.

God doesn't have to know us so well, but He does. Isn't it so comforting to worship a God who loves and cares for us so much? He is the real deal. He cares about us so much, and yet we don't have the consideration to worship Him on a regular basis. Our whole life should be based around Him. I guess I'm just a little frustrated with myself on how I kind of take God so lightly. There are no words to describe Him. Do you understand that? No words are good enough. It just blows my mind.

Sometimes I don't even know where to start with God. I kind of get overwhelmed with the idea of Him. But sometimes you just gotta sit there and admire you creator and usually that's enough. Just sit there and admire Him. Don't rush into His presence with with words. When you do that Sometimes I feel like I have to do all the talking when it comes to God. But really just sitting there in His presence is more that any words could ever start to say.

Just love Him guys.

Stop blowing Him off. Stop thinking your sin is too big. Stop thinking you're not good enough to talk to Him.

He created you, He already knows what's happening, Now just talk to Him about it. Stop holding back from him, you can't do it on your own, so don't. Just because it's hard and uncomfortable doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. God cares more than anyone in the world ever could.

He loves you.

Live Loved

So lately I've been waiting... Waiting on God. I haven't really been asking for anything. I wanted to just thank Him instead of asking Him. Doing that simple, but not so simple thing has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Honestly I just haven't been feeling loved lately, I don't know why, I have just been feeling unloved unwanted, forgotten all those depressing things. So I went to God and He showed me something... HIS LOVE. And boy am I stupid, I AM LOVED.

 

Ever since a friend spoke in chapel this morning I have just been thinking about God's love constantly. Ah man God's LOVE. He made a good point, God's love has kind of been misunderstood and redefined in the wrong way we have lost the realness of it, we use the term "God loves you" so carelessly. You guys it is SO special and SO sacred. There is nothing like it. Why is it so easy for us to forget about God? It seems like so many people are stuck in depression, loneliness, sadness, regret, hurt, all of those things and really the ONLY thing we need is God. Why do we always forget Him? It's SO simple. Call on His name and He WILL answer. Try it, it will work, it's the ONLY thing that will work. The thing that gets me the most about His love is that we don't have to do anything, He loves us just because. Forget that He died for all humanity. Even if it was just one person.. just YOU. He still would have GLADLY done it. He loves us so much you guys, if only we could get our heads rapped around that.

God's love changes things.

Repent means change direction, not just feel bad about sin.

 

While you were still sinners I died for you.

 

If you're not loving Him well you don't need to try harder you need to believe that he loves you more.

 

And how do you do that? You keep gazing on Jesus because Jesus said you're so bad I had to die for you.

 

It robs you of your right to be proud, but it also says that I'm so loved that Jesus was GLAD to die for me.

 

That lifts us up and robs us of our right to be depressed.

 

We loved because He first loved us.

 

 



Spend some time with God today.

The creator of the universe loves YOU.

He loves you with this unconditional love.

Uncontional love that will satisfy you.

Truly satisfy you for the rest of your life.

It will satisy you longer than any one person can make you feel.

Just love Him.

Love Him simply because He is.

No more.

No less.

Simply because He exists.

Tell Him thank you.

For anything.

For everything.

Do it.

Feel alone?

YOU'RE NOT.

This story moves me so much! I hope you get the chance to watch this video.

I don’t know if it’s possible to define a point where a friendship begins. There is no clear threshold—but there is proof that one has crossed it. A friend is a story-bearer, one who lives so that the life of their friend may be known to everyone they meet. Even the most selfish among us, if they have a friend, will melt in a moment’s notice at the heartbreak of a loved one. The meek will dig to find their loudest voice on behalf of someone they hold dear.

Friendship can at times be painful and sleepless, but it is never a chore. Friendship assures that our screams and questions will never go unnoticed. Friendship knows that piecing together questions and lives is an honor.

Levi, Bree, and Gage are my friends. They are among my brothers and sisters in my “Tour Family.” I don’t know if I would still be doing what I do without them. They hold within them immense beauty, talent, and inspiration. They have felt pain and warmth, and they desire to share the things they have learned. After Levi and Bree lost their father to suicide, they wrote a song with Gage and his band To Speak of Wolves called “Rearview Memories” to tell their story, and this video aspires to keep that story alive.

This video and the song that inspired it remind us we are in this together, that art and friends exist to help us remember how to walk after we’ve fallen to our knees. It serves as a reminder that you deserve such friendship. It is worth the fight to be heard, and we stand behind you.

If you feel alone, know that the voices represented here understand how you feel. This is not the end of your story. Don’t give up. Our friends at 1-800-SUICIDE and 1-800-273-TALK stand at the ready for you. Reach out. Ask for help. You are so worth it.

—Chad

Joy.

So I'm in the word tonight, I'm opened up to John 16 and i recommend you read this. It talks about joy! Jesus gives an analogy...

^21-23 “When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there’s no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you’ll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You’ll no longer be so full of questions.

^23-24 “This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I’ve revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he’ll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!

So what this means to me is, that we are getting joy. It doesn't matter where you are in life, you can find joy, where ever you're at. You kind of have to go through the pain to get that joy. Could you imagine if life were just all good all the time and just joy joy joy 24/7? Yeah maybe for a while it would be fun, but with out pain and conquering something really tough you don't really have an accomplishment or that feeling of satisfaction, it feels so much better when you work through something and get the joy instead of just getting joy handed to you. The joy is a thousand times better when you work for it. I hope this is making sense. Just something I got out of this verse. I encourage you to read the chapter!
 
And also one more thing, I'm curious! What does joy mean to you? You can like actually write a comment or just think to yourself, but I really want to know! Is it being happy? Or feeling pretty or strong? Having a bunch of friends? All of the above? or Like the little things? and what little things? Just think about it! And once you got it. Tell God and ask Him to give you that joy that you're looking for.

I guess joy for me is the little things in life. Like when I'm in a good mood, or looking at God's beautiful creation, being in the presence of my family, feeling included and happy with friends, getting advice from my "hero's" in life and having deep talks with them, or finishing a really good run or workout, or getting a compliment, hugs from my mom, getting excited about God's word, when my sister comes home, feeling pretty, getting butterflies from a boy, putting a really cool outfit together, when people laugh at me, getting a hard concept in math, recognizing God's love for me.. seriously the list goes on and on and on... I could just be happy sitting on a path and staring at a tree for hours haha. I'm weird like that. But it's weird because I have so many things that give me joy, but my joy is so easily destroyed. I really really want a joy that God is talking about in John 16. And I'm praying for it.

Yep.

Alright guys it's just one of those nights where i need to write. i tried sleeping and that just didn't work. I gotta write about my incredible friends, yah i said FRIENDS. i have FRIENDS. haha

ah man i've been praying for friends like these, i really have and i got them. straight up got them from God. and they happen to be in the same family. imagine that hah, you guessed it Madeline and Monica. Oh my heavenly days, these girls, i really don't know what it is about them, but there's just something special. They're those kind of friends that you know they'll be there forever. It's funny how they do it, you could be having thee worst day or be in the worst mood, and they could just say one word or give you that look haha and you would be instantly better and laugh so hard your tummy hurts. They're the kind of friends who make you want to be a better person. They're the most encouraging girls EVER. I just can't say enough about them, i hope you're getting the point. Even though you may not care about my friendship status whatsoever, i just had to write about them. I got to be with them the whole weekend, and it was just a treat, i love there hearts. I think that's what I like about them the most maybe, I don't know I can't decide. hah but just listening to them and having heart to hearts with them, it's cool to hear there thoughts and just the little things. And they demonstrate to me how much God cares. I don't know if that makes sense, but God cares about me so much, so He sent them to me or something hah I don't know, this friendship just has God written all over it! And it shows how beautiful God's heart is. Like it may take a while to see God work. But He will work. It's just on his time because He knows what's best, and it can be so hard to wait, but it's SO worth it guys. It's a great thing to call these girls my best friends. Mhmm!