Just Thinking

Do you ever get frustrated with God? That sounds so bad, but really sometimes it's so frustrating to talk to someone who you feel like is not listening because we usually don't hear a voice back. I think we all have felt this way at some point in our life. I just feel like my life is on pause right now. I've been waiting for direction on a lot of things, but so far I feel like He isn't hearing me or isn't doing anything about what I'm asking. It's so frustrating, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I want answers! I feel so lost, but then again I know He's got it under control. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing, yah know? It's really hard to be patient.

I haven't blogged in a while because I feel like my words are lame. Like everything I say is just pointless. I want to make a difference in people's life, and I just have been feeling very small. I feel like everything I say is just stupid hah. I get really frustrated sometimes, I want to be there for people, I want to be that person everyone goes to. I feel useless, "I'm praying for you" and "I'm here for you" just seem so useless. I wish I could take the pain from everyone and hurt for them. It really really bugs me to see people hurting. Like ahhh I don't know if I'm getting this out right. But I just want to mean more to people. I want to feel important. And I don't at all. I feel like an average kid, and I don't want to be in that place. Why do friends always leave? I must be doing something wrong. I'm just frustrated with myself.

Last thing, I have been feeling very thankful. Thankful for everything that I do have. I was recently reminded of how precious life is and that we could loose anyone in a second. It's a scary thought. So really over use "I love you" and take a minute to just think about people and all the wonderful ones in your life. And maybe even tell them? Yeah i would do that.

Sorry my thoughts are so confusing. It's so hard to get them into words sometimes.